What to do when everything fades.

Back in Jos I and my friends hosted annual Christmas Concerts which we titled Christmas for Everyone or X4E for short.  It was a lot of fun and it usually took us about a month or two to prepare for.  I always derived joy in getting the details taken care of, and despite the pressure it was all worth it in the end.  However after every show, I would find myself emotionally, physically and mentally drained (I think and plan and schedule in my sleep. Truly.).  It was more like an anti-climatic sage where I would spend a very long time in hiatus, brooding and struggling to get out of a black hole.  It would be a while before I was up, running and being my restless self again.

I miss planning, but I miss singing even more.

Since I relocated I haven’t done anything as intense as X4E, being that I claim to be understudying my new environment. However, I did put a lot of energy into plans for Spirit of David’s show titled “15”   Those of you following me on twitter and facebook must’ve noticed :). I wasn’t a core coordinator for the event but we all had collective responsibility for publicity, sales and the show itself.  I can tell you now that I felt almost the same pressure that I felt during X4E – maybe it was because I was dancing for the first time on stage and I didn’t trust myself to do a good job – which I think I did, by the way!

The show was a hit. 😀

I was so relieved to have survived this process, but sadly I slipped back into the black hole.  And for the past three weeks, everything faded.

Nigeria suffered from a flood.  People were killed, displaced, and committed suicide due to losses they suffered.  Their homes were even invaded by crocs and hippos (haha…. ahem… :|)…

Four university students in Port Harcourt were tortured and lynched by members of a community while others stood, watched and videoed the gory event.  As the story swept through Nigeria and parts of the world, I felt a deep pain and empathy for them, their loved ones and friends…

I attended my very first wedding in Lagos, and despite all the STRESS it took to get there (the distance was one thing, the HEAVY RAIN was another!), I had fun but I caught a cold which I have been nursing slowly for two weeks now..

…Lots of other stuff happened! I mean, three weeks is a long time, isn’t it?  Isn’t it?

I hate this grey feeling; when everything fades.  So many colorful things were going on around me and I couldn’t express myself due to some emotional, mental drain.  I missed writing, but it felt so, so hard.

Have you ever felt this way?

I’m taking this very painful step to write and hope that it proves therapeutic.  Besides, that’s why I started this blog in the first place – for sanity’s sake!

There are other things I have lined up too, but I guess I can’t write about them until they are missions completed!  All I can say is that they will include something daring, romantic, controversial and emotional.  If you’ve got any suggestions please fire away…

Wish me luck!

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6 thoughts on “What to do when everything fades.

  1. Hmm. Story of my life right here. But I hear you on the mixed feelings though. You sure do have a lot on your plate! how do you find time to do it all? You’re a superwoman so don’t beat yourself at all! 🙂

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