Sometimes the idea of marriage scares me.
It’s not really the thought of living with someone that does it – I’ve lived all my life sharing a room with someone: a sibling, a roommate, a flat mate – it’s the fact that I can’t escape to anywhere else when we’ve had a fight.
And it’s not that I hate fights either – I don’t mind engaging in healthy and positive relationship building fights – but there are some that seem like they’ll never go away. There are fights that make you wonder if you ever really knew that person before you got married, or if you actually made the right decision.
The ability to run to your best friend with a problem is healing. But what if you married your best friend, who do you run to?
People say marriage changes you, and they say it not in a good way. Why? Is it the pressure of the challenges, an over dose of a good thing or just or being disillusioned?
Despite my fears, my idealist side fights to believe that once both parties are totally aware of who they are as individuals, it becomes easier to accept your spouse’s short comings, and the fights become an avenue for mutual self-discovery.
In the meantime, while I put on a bold front and be the fearless person “they” know me for, I shall mentally shut my eyes, cross my fingers behind my back and repeat to myself: “Do not be afraid, do not be afraid, do not be afraid.”