Alive!

Hello people!

A long time ago (in another life, it seems)  some of my friends told me that I had the ability to be away for so long, yet when we meet – make it seem like we were never apart.  I’m hoping I can pull that off right here and you wouldn’t have to notice how long I was away (I’m sorry about it).  So lets just get right into it with a hug, shall we?

That felt good, yes? 😀  Now to other matters…

So much has been going on!! I wanted to blog about them but somehow didn’t have the motivation, which is sad, really.  I was in the downers for waaaaay too long, and I think it happened because I was over thinking everything a little too much.

I’m a Melancholic, see?  I would argue that I’m probably just about 50% but doing that may emphasize the fact, so I’ll just drop it there :)!  Because I’m very introspective, analytical and logical there is so much I want to talk about, but because every detail is important to me I get lost in them and lose sight of the bigger picture, ending up like this: heart-broken-angel-black

So instead of giving you guys the inside scoop of what’s been happening, I’ve actually been weighed down by A LOT of thinking. Thinking about situations that I probably could have changed but felt too hopeless helpless to change and thinking about situations that couldn’t be changed at all!  I held on to past events and constantly replayed them in my head, wondering if things would’ve been better if I just did this or didn’t do that… torture, really.

Sigh.

Anyhow, I suddenly started feeling lighter on the 1st of this month, and yesterday (yup, yesterday) I felt better. Much better. Excellent in fact!  I was like:

Great right?  I feel so alive today, I thought I should share!

I should go into all the things I’ve learned during this phase – which were things I already knew before but needed reminding – but I won’t, for now (We don’t want someone over analyzing issues too soon, do we?).   I’m just glad to be alive, healthy and happy.  For now these three are enough!

If you have any ideas how I can keep up with this new me (which I’m enjoying) please feel free to share :).  See you real soon!

heartbeat – Phoenix

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9 thoughts on “Alive!

  1. Hello Nuala,
    Nice to hear from u again after a long break! Happy to hear you are feeling very great now, i feel ur pains hold on to the past event but we can’t change the past nor unchangeable things. we can only look forward to a better future. Glad u’re focusing on the present and future now instead of the past……….. What will be will be……. Keep holding on. Love to hear from u more often! Wink!!!!

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    1. Jide,
      It feels good to write again cause it actually hurt not being able to, haha! Thanks for your support all the while!I hope to feed on moments like these to motivate me in the future to keep writing. Here’s to the very unpredictable but very happy future! 🙂

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  2. Don’t worry, our blogging friendship is still what it is no matter if you were to go on a year-long hiatus (although I wouldn’t recommend doing that without any advanced warning). I myself am a huge over-thinker as well. Just a few weeks ago I was in a bit of a slump but luckily, was able to get out of it relatively quickly. It’s funny how much our thoughts can influence us, isn’t it? (Or more like crazy, haha.)
    On an unrelated note, I just thought I’d share that I was learning about Nollywood this week in class and I thought of you, seeing as you’re from Nigeria. 🙂 I think it’s fascinating that while the system is quite different from Hollywood (in terms of distribution and marketing), it still has significant influence across Africa and the African diaspora. I could ramble on more but I’m sure this comment is turning into an essay so I’ll stop here. Wishing you a great rest of the week and wonderful weekend!

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    1. Our blogging friendship is so much appreciated Lillian! I would certainly hate to be away for so long but if I do I promise to give a heads up!
      The fact that we are self aware and know what we are capable of helps (but only a little bit, haha!) Yes I do feel crazy and I don’t mean it in a bad way but its good to know that someone as smart and funny as you can feel the same way too (kinda makes me feel like a genius! :D)… I’ll remind myself of that each time the blues threaten to come, if you don’t mind!
      I’m actually amazed that you would come across Nollywood in your studies! I was a huge critic for Nollywood movies but now the industry is changing so much that I can’t help but feel proud! I am still quite picky about the movies I watch though:). Enjoy your week as well! 😀

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  3. Welcome back pretty one…I am glad you over that hill now…

    How to keep it going? enjoy the current scenery to the fullest…you were in the valley now you at the top….the scene is beautiful with greenery and beautiful colors of the flowers…

    Imagine the wind blowing softly through your hair…now listen to the birds chirp and sing sweetly…smell the grass, the soil….take every moment in and enjoy it…

    …don’t rush…

    Hold onto every memory….

    Now all this is not for the ‘now’…next time you feel like you are going under again? reflect on the memory of this current ‘hilltop experience’ and derive strength from within to rise to the top again…

    Phew!!!! Now this is an essay…I am outta here…

    Oh!! one last word…have you listened to Beyonce’s “Rise up”? No? download it or listen on YouTube…have you watched the cartoon “Epic”? No? go rent it today….

    xoxo

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    1. Zingfa, You gave three practical steps: visualization, a movie and a song! Thanks a lot, I will definitely do as you have suggested… I like where I am now so its worth trying! 😀
      You are usually a very optimistic and sunny person… I’m curious to know if you ever feel low and are these the steps you take as well? 😀

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      1. 😀 I have my ‘valley-days’ I tell you….hehehehe….I try to follow these steps i mentioned…they always work but sometimes only after multiple trials!!! 🙂

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