Very soon. I think it’s about time I bought a car.
Two weeks ago I hopped on a bike. Before I dropped off, the well dressed driver made two attempts to ask for my phone number. I ignored the man and took off as quickly as I could before he would decide to park and follow me.
Yeah, I’m hot like that.
Last Friday I got into a keke heading to work. I was the first to get into it but as a woman with a baby on her back and a toddler in one hand came to complete the fourth and last seat in front, the driver asked me to take her place, giving the mother my more comfortable seat. In split seconds I excused him for picking me instead of the other two guys: my trip wasn’t too far compared to the others. I obliged. Not long after we took off, Mr. keke driver was asking me where I work so he could come pay me a visit. This time I told him a flat-out “No”, even when he offered to divert (with the other passengers) to drop me at a closer bus stop than I’d asked. I wonder what those at the back would be thinking. I’d be laughing if I saw this happen to someone else, but I wasn’t laughing cause this was me!
Just yesterday I was finding my way through that sort of traffic that is vehicles+motorcycles+pedestrians and one aboki decides to blow me a loud-sounding smacking kiss! This time I laughed. When you’re that hot sometimes you have to deal with the bees and the flies (sorry guys, no offence).
Now that I think about it, isn’t this a sign from the Most High that I have paid my dues to the public transport sector and its time to elevate to the private sector? I mean, I’ve put up with guys of all characters hitting on me. I’ve endured having my dresses or pants torn by knackered bus seats. I swam the waters when the buses got stuck in potholes during seasons of flood. Brothers and sisters, I have paid my dues and it is time to elevate.
Elevateeeeee I say! Can I hear an amen?
See, I used to think buying a car was a luxury, but not in Lagos. No sir! I have long been baptised from that school of thought. The economist theory will tell you that a car is a liability because from the moment you buy a car it begins to deteriorate and you’ll always have to spend money maintaining it. I remember passing lots of fancy and not-so-fancy cars in traffic and saying to myself: “See these people, am I not better than they are? Will I not reach home before them? No need to buy a car jare!” and I will ride off into the sunset on my iron horse. This is what is referred to as “Poverty mentality” and I begin to rebuke it now in Jesus name!
Can I hear an amen?
Now that I’ve made up my mind, its unto the next challenge: telling the difference between a Toyota and a Honda. Problems, problems. Sigh.
Keke: Nigerian slang for a Tricycle
Aboki: Hausa word meaning “friend”; slang referring to a Northern menial worker or bike driver
Jare: Nigerian slang indicating nonchalance
Featured picture courtesy of google image search.
Do you have keke, bike or bus selfies you want to share? Tag me @noolz_ on IG!