We live in a world needing, struggling, dying to be perfect.
From the moment we are born, we are set against one another, wanting to be better than the other in at least one thing, if not everything.
Even when people love us just as we are, we still compete within and with ourselves, wanting to be better than we were yesterday.
When we are better we are noticed. We are selected. We are loved.
It oftentimes hurts when IT SEEMS you are not the best of the crop. All you want to do is just sit down in your dark little corner and cry, and die.
You see, I was born a perfectionist. I know this in my heart because my basic thoughts, imaginations, dreams and desires go in that direction. However going through my many lives I have come to the realization that life is not perfect. The worst of this coming to is that I was, I AM NOT PERFECT. You do not want to imagine the turmoil I go through, knowing that two personalities exist and rage within: The One who sees is as it should be and The One who sees it as it is. Sometimes the latter wins and there is calm for a season, until the former rears her sharp claws and tears at whatever she can get a hold of: face, hands, feet. Anything to slow the other down.
The prayer of humility helps me to remember that God loves me, even in my imperfection. The prayer calms my inner storm and helps me move on. Exodus 14:19 reminds me that the same God who was leading the people of Israel out of Egypt also went back to protect them from behind. Once you are God’s child, you are his child, case closed. What is important is the journey of purpose and living it out.
Humility is a very quiet but powerful gift to have. There are so many bible verses which talk about the love God has for those who are humble. Proverbs 22:4 and James 4:10 are just a minute few of them.
I would like to share this prayer with everyone who is feeling dejected, rejected, unloved, unnoticed, despaired and all the unlucky and imperfect words you can ever think of. Also for those perfectionists who can never be enough for themselves or never feel worthy enough – even when they are – There is grace for you, PEACE.
- O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred to others,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I,
That others may be esteemed more than I,
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease,
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.